Words were exchanged between me and some men both before and after the Masters 3/4 Cyclesports Crit this weekend.
**Critical knowledge for story: The only races for women were the junior state championships and the W 3/4 field.**
It went something like this:
SCENE 1: Outside Porta-Potty in Livermore parking lot
Twerpy guy: "It's great that you're racing twice today."
Ali: "Who me? No, I'm not a junior. I'm actually racing the Masters 3/4 race as it's the only one I can enter in here today."
TG: " You mean the women's 3/4?"
Ali: "No, the Men's 3/4."
TG: " Why aren't you racing the Women's 3/4 race?"
Ali: "Because I'm not a 3 and I'm not a 4."
TG: " So why are you racing the men's 3/4 instead of a women's race?"
Ali: (Thinking...because I came here specifically to kick your ass...) I mean... "Because I didn't want to drive my ass to Folsom when I could race right here at a local race."
TG: " Maybe you should downgrade."
Ali: Enters porta-potty without a response (at least not one he could hear)
SCENE 2: Warming up on road near race course.
SCENE 2: Warming up on road near race course.
Ali is doing a bit of tempo and passes twerpy guy and several of his teammates. As she passes them, she hears TG exclaim, "That girl thinks she's going to be able to race with us today."
As Ali has never done a men's 3 race before and isn't sure if she'll be dropped, she keeps her mouth shut. But she's pretty damn sure that if dropped, she'll be sure to be in front of TG and gap him off while slamming on her brakes.
SCENE 3: Race time
Ali is surprised at her technical prowess. She comes up with some rules of which wheels she shouldn't sit on: If you're not wearing a team kit, if you have a team jersey and black (non-team) shorts, if your number is flapping in the wind, if you have a saddle bag, if you're a skinny-ass climber type, or if you have unshaven legs...then you are NOT the wheel for me. Following these rules Ali is able to easily stay in the pack for the entire race. Ali likes big men's wheels, preferably when she is surrounded by them on all sides. Mmmmm good.
SCENE 4: Post race
Teammate of TG is on grass while Ali is riding, cooling down. He yells, "Hey girl, nice race." Ali has a lot of things she like to yell back, but she settles for, "My name is Allison," and keeps on riding.
Teammate of TG is on grass while Ali is riding, cooling down. He yells, "Hey girl, nice race." Ali has a lot of things she like to yell back, but she settles for, "My name is Allison," and keeps on riding.
14 comments:
yeah! I love your list of wheels not to follow. remember WJG (white jersey girl) a few years ago?
Ali was kind and didn't mention the team of TG but hearing this story shook my faith in his team's fundemental values.
Great post.
Many times the women 2's are some of the smoothest and most predictable in a mens' 3's pack.
Great story Ali. I wish you'd been ruder, but that's just me.
twerpy guy was downgraded.
back to the stone age where his attitude belongs.
nice racing, Ali. and next time tell the twerps to come to the track and get spanked there, too.
m
arrr-guh!
Aw, what a douche. Laurie, Amanda & I did that race with the guys a couple years ago (with Merkeley, if I remember correctly), only it was 4/5, and I developed a similar list of wheels to avoid -- I would add "wearing a headband". ;)
You should race the M3 when they're available -- the guys there have always been nothing but cool to me & actually seem to like having a girl race with them.
If you're not wearing a team kit, if you have a team jersey and black (non-team) shorts, if your number is flapping in the wind, if you have a saddle bag...
i do all of these! no wonder no one ever gets on my wheel! (hypothetically, what about unattached kit?!
I love it ... kick TG's butt. And Hernando is right; if he came to Hellyer there are quite a few women, including you, who would probably kick his rear. I know from experience :-)
I like your rules, but know there are some exceptions. Aaron H. has unshaved legs, but his is a good wheel to take.
You go girl! Love it!!Way to lay down some smack :)
wow, posting about bike racing instead of racial commentaries on urban teaching sure gets more comments.
elis: I did that mens race with you guys too, but couldn't hang for more than 2-3 laps. this weekend was sweet revenge on that course.
and beth, I'll sit on your wheel anytime as long as you're not wearing a headband.
Great job Ali.
Oh my, of course you were there! I am so embarrassed to have forgotten. Sorry!
Speaking of things I forgot about that race (until now), do you remember the "Powerbar incident"?
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